Let's smile!

1. Money And Friends

"Since he lost his money, half his friends don't know him any more"

"And the other half ?"

"They don't know yet that has lost it"


2. The River Isn't Deep

A stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted : "I thought you said it wasn't deep ?"

"It isn't", was the boy's reply : "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their middles !"
3. A Cow Grazing

Artist : "That, sir, is a cow grazing"

Visitor : "Where is the grass ?"

Artist : "The cow has eaten it"

Visitor : "But where is the cow ?"

Artist : "You don't suppose she'd be fool enough to stay there after she'd eaten all the grass, do you ?"
4. Great Mystery

Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"

Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"

Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".
 5. The Hen And The Dog

Jones : "Sorry, old man, that my hen got loose and scratched up your garden"

Smith : "That's all right, my dog ate your hen"

Jones : "Fine! I just ran over your dos and killed him".

6. She's My Wife

One of the guest turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them.

"What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is ?"

"Yes", was the answer. "She's my wife"

"Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song ?"

"I did", was the answer.

7. Don't Be So Conceited

Smith : "I keep hearing the word 'Idiot' - I hope you are not referring to me"

Jones : "Don't be so conceited. As if there are no other idiots in the world!"